I was reading about one of God’s names in the Old Testament, Jehovah Rapha, which means, “The Lord our Healer” and I had to ask myself, do I really believe that God heals? I’m not talking about physical sickness (a whole topic in and of itself), but spiritual and emotional sickness.
I notice that I tend to believe, at least on an intellectual level, that God indeed heals all wounds. And I’ve come to accept this especially when it comes to the mortal wounds in my life (those that would kill me spiritually). I believe in salvation, but I find myself struggling to believe in the maturity process or sanctification. I think my struggle is a combination of a lack of faith in God as healer, and a foolish desire to pull myself up by my own boot strings.
I simultaneously think these two things to myself: “God can save my soul, but he can’t fix my problems now, I’m just too screwed up” and “I’ve got to get my act together, I’ve got this one God, if I just try harder I know I’ll make you happy.” These are words of despair and shame. They are lies from the enemy and they contradict what my Father says about Himself and about me. This attitude may seem self sacrificing in some ways, but it is the opposite, it is entirely selfish in an unhealthy and ungodly way.
The enemy is always happy to heap despair and shame upon us.
Despair is hopelessness, and it is contrary to what God tells us throughout the His word. Hopelessness denies the power of the Risen Savior to conquer all evil. “He is faithful and will complete a good work He has begun in you” is a promise not to be thrown aside lightly.
Shame is about identity. Whereas one can feel healthy guilt over wrong actions, shame is an attack on our core person. Satan is constantly lying to us and telling us how worthless and hopeless we are. God on the other hand says that we are saints, sons of the King, righteous, holy, and that He has made us a new creation and given us a new heart. And… if you go back even further, before the fall, you’ll recall that we were made in God’s image and there is an Original Glory that is inherent to all men. There is never a reason for us to strive to make God happy, who we are, who He has made us, makes Him happy.
So back to my original premise… do I believe that God heals? Again, I confess this need to my Father: Help thou my unbelief. This is a daily prayer, or should be. The intellectual knowledge is present, but is it soul deep? This is where I need help.